Monday, July 27, 2015

Love after marriage



Do you love me?

The question that keeps popping out from a wife, from month-to-month.

At times, marrying a total stranger could be challenging. Me and the husband; we have no ideas about each other before entering the marriage. In fact, we were not even had a proper taaruf throughout the 7 months of engagement. Zero.

Think of it again, I was kind of surprised with myself. How could I easily welcome him into my life? I should admit that everything was completely smooth and easy at the moments, that I have nothing to be doubtful. A total faith, I must say.

Just along the marriage, few doubts suddenly strike into the mind; in between love and responsibility. To marry a person before injecting any heart feeling – somehow leads to curiosity.

Do you love me?

The question that finally put tears on the husband. :(

“Why asking such question? It seems like you were not confident with the relationship”.

In reality, it is not that I was having doubt with the decision, but myself. There was plenty of ‘what if’ that bothers me. What if the more he discovers about me makes him regret? What if my weaknesses turned out makes him annoyed? What if this, and what if that?

Until the answer from dear husband, changed everything.

“A love without responsibility is just like a couple without married. Whilst, responsibility without love is like performing a prayer without treasuring the meaning of the order”.


And to sustain, both should come together.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

The People

He was a Research Assistant earning RM800 per month, when he decided to propose me in front of my parents.

What actually convinced him to take the decision was -- the people around me. 

Dear husband was 26, having the intention to get married, yet still worried about his career path at the moment.

But a simple message that I forwarded to him, changed everything.


"At the very moment I knew, I will lost you if I didn't take any action". -Dear husband-

I should also be thankful to one of my good friend, Syura, for there was a song that she posted in my facebook comments, which had unintentionally inspired dear husband to come and meet my parents.


(A real stalker of me as I caught he read all of the status and comments in my Facebook!).

Though, it doesn't take long for him to secure a better job, right after he decided to get married. 2 months after the proposal, he received an offer, as a Science Officer in UIA.

Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal. :)

"..and whoever fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. (2) And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah - then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent. (3)". 

at-Talaq, 2-3.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

A real highlight

When Syahirah Rosli told me about her intention to match-make me with her eldest brother, I was obviously stunt and speechless.

Then I remembered -- A year back, she did ask her brother to add me in Facebook.

I do approve the friend request but never had a real conversation with him along the time. Little that I know, he is going to be my whole-life-partner.

In fact, all the things which had convinced me to accept his proposal were actually lie in his Facebook, since that was the only source I have to get to know more about him.

The first thing that I discovered from his Facebook was; how determined he is in losing weight.

Dear husband used to be 103kg before he started to join fitness program and be healthy. Surprisingly, he managed to shed off more than 30kg within a year, just by having continuous exercise and clean-eating. 

He never gets bored of having the same meal every day. Brown rice with chicken grilled and raw cucumber.


How do I described him?

1) A person who walks the talk
2) Loyal and not easily get bored
3) Patience with strong determination

Though there were many more which had convinced me, this particular reason was a real highlight.

"The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, while there is good in both".

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

17hb

Bukan seorang dua yg bertanya, kenapa tidak dilangsungkan majlis terus selepas akad nikah?

Ceritanya mudah.

Aku kenal dengan suami melalui Syahirah. Adik ipar aku sekarang, yg juga merupakan salah seorang drpd bekas adik usrah. Semasa Syahirah memberitahu aku yg abangnya sedang mecari calon utk dijadikan isteri yg sah, aku ambil masa seminggu, tunaikan istikharah.

Kebetulan dalam proses aku beristikharah, mak dan abah sibuk di rumah, mempersiapkan majlis abang kandung aku yg bakal menikah. Belum sempat mak dan abah melepaskan lelah, aku pula bersuara hendak meneruskan langkah.

Keringat abah, masih membasah.

Atas sebab tidak mahu kami berpatah, kedua belah pihak setuju -- hujung tahun kami menikah. Macam tak percaya, begitu mudah! Pertunangan kami tidak dihebah. Majlis pernikahan kami juga tidak gah. Aku, hanya berkurung polos dan pipi merah.

Dalam tempoh setahun, dua orang anak bujang abah menambah amanah. :)

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Dia anugerah

Aku masih ingat dgn jelas pengalaman pertama mengerjakan umrah. Ketika itu, aku dalam proses hendak berhijrah. Terima kasih Allah yg tetap memberi peluang kpd aku yg naif ini utk menjejakkan kaki di bumi Mekah dan Madinah. Lintasan niat utk berubah, merupakan rahmat terbesar drpd Allah.

Kita berserah, dan Allah permudah.

Beberapa bulan sebelum aku terbang ke kota Madinah al-Munawwarah, Allah takdirkan aku dan kekasih lama -- berpisah. Ya, itu merupakan titik permulaan kpd aku mengenal erti Hidayah. Perasaan terindah, yg jika dibahaskan aku yakin tidak bernoktah. Hakikatnya, perpisahan itu telah menjawab segala isi hati aku yg dulu gelisah.

Nikmat menjadi tetamu Allah dan Rasulullah.

Pulang drpd mengerjakan umrah, aku belajar utk menunaikan solat istikharah secara istiqamah. Dua  rakaat yg terkadang memaksa juga aku bermujahadah. Salah satu ibadah yg tetap cuba aku lakukan, dalam payah. Bukan dua hari, tetapi dua tahun setengah. :)

Istikharah, ubat pd jiwa-jiwa yg resah.

Ada satu doa yg sempat aku titipkan di Jabal Rahmah. Biar aku coretkan di sini sebagai hadiah, buat mereka-mereka yg memasang niat utk bernikah. "Ya Allah, hadirkanlah jodoh yg terbaik utk diriku, pd masa yg terbaik, dgn cara yg paling baik, yg Engkau redhai. Sesungguhnya hanya kpd-Mu lah aku berserah".

Ulang baca di setiap hari tanpa lelah.

"dan bila hati bulat meminta pd yg Maha Pemurah, Dia hadirkan lamaran seorang lelaki yg menjaga ikhtilat sebagai anugerah".

Monday, January 26, 2015

Tiga bulan seminggu

Aku masih diajukan dgn soalan bertalu-talu. Bagaimana aku dan encik suami mula bertemu? Apa yg membuatkan aku tekad menerima lamarannya tanpa ragu? Berapa lama aku beristikharah memohon petunjuk yg Maha Tahu?

Kejap, biar aku jawab satu persatu. :)

Kami mula berkawan di muka buku. Dia menambah tanpa menegur aku. Masing-masing malu, dan aku sendiri belum terbuka hati utk berkenalan dgn insan baru. Biar begitu.

Pejam celik, hampir setahun berlalu.

Dia tetap diam membisu. Aku pula, semakin sibuk menghadapi tahun-tahun terakhir di MMU. Duduk di tepi penjuru, dia mengikuti setiap perkembangan aku tanpa jemu. Lelaki ini memang satu dalam seribu.

"..sesungguhnya Allah telah mengadakan ketentuan bagi setiap sesuatu". (65:3).

Hari itu, hari yg paling aku tunggu. Hari Jumaat malam Sabtu. Sampai seru, dia datang berjumpa orang tuaku meminta restu. Tindakannya buat aku terpaku. Emak dan abah mempamerkan riak wajah setuju. Keesokan hari, ibunya datang membawa cincin tidak berbatu. Di hadapan semua, aku tertunduk memberitahu,

"ya, aku mahu".

-28 Februari 2014-

Friday, January 23, 2015

Khadijah Binti Khuwalid

Aku pernah mencabar diri meniru cara isteri Baginda. :)

Seingat aku, ketika itu aku berusia dua puluh tiga. Sedang berusaha menghabiskan tahun ijazah yg masih bersisa. Semakin meningkat usia, ke mana aku pergi sentiasa diajukan soalan yg sama. "Kak, bila nak berumah tangga?". Soalan mereka, aku balas dgn pertanyaan semula. "Boleh tolong carikan calonnya?".

Ukir senyum ke telinga.

Satu masa, aku tekad  bertanyakan status seorang jejaka. Melalui perantara, aku menjadi ahli perisik yg berjaya. Dia masih kosong atau telah berpunya? Jawapan yg aku terima - cukup membuatkan aku percaya. Jodoh itu benar-benar rahsia yg Maha Esa. Kerana bukan dia, alasannya seringkas, "belum bersedia".

Pujuk jiwa utk tidak merasa terhina. Walau perbuatan seakan perigi mencari timba. Biar ditertawa manusia. Asal tidak dimurkai Pencipta.

Kita sebenarnya hendak malu kpd siapa?

Melangkah masuk ke alam kerjaya, semakin Allah hadirkan rasa utk berkeluarga. Aku, tetap dgn prinsip tidak mahu bercinta. Yakin, jodoh kan hadir pelbagai cara. Pada perkara yg tampak mustahil di mata kita, hakikatnya sangat mudah pada yg Maha Berkuasa!

Setelah berusaha, tetaplah berdoa.

Dalam tempoh sekejap cuma, jodoh hadir tanpa diduga. Perjalanannya cepat, mudah, dan bersahaja. Dgn restu drpd ibu bapa. Terkebil-kebil mata setiap kali melihat jari yg bertanda. Cincin belah rotan tidak berpermata, indah terukir mengikut citarasa bakal ibu mertua.

Kurang lebih tiga purnama.

Sekarang aku mampu tersenyum lega. Apa yg Allah gantikan, jauh, lebih sempurna drpd apa yg aku damba. Benarlah janji Allah di dlm ayat-Nya, "..kemudian apabila kamu telah membulatkan tekad (utk melakukan sesuatu), maka bertawakkallah kpd Allah. Sesungguhnya Allah menyukai orang yg bertawakkal kpd-Nya". -3:159-

Terima kasih, sang Pemilik Cinta.